Celebrate your parenting.

     
You might think having an X wife is painful...well it is. But it's great that we can put aside the petty squabbling about money, parenting or scheduling and still relish the little parenting victories that come our way.

About a year ago I realized I was spending too much time TALKING about values with my kids and not enough time living them.  I used the holiday season and shopping for holiday gifts as a prime "teachable" moment on the importance of giving.  Not to mention the ability to help them establishing a budget! It is always easy to talk about the importance of gift giving, but I realized taking the time to show them the process was invaluable.

Last year I decided to give them a small budget of $20 to do all of their   Christmas shopping. (Kids ages are 12, 12 and 9) I had them make a list of people they wanted to buy for and coached them on a few I thought should make the list.  We talked about how it is not the size or cost of the gift, but finding something that is unique and from the heart.  

"What makes gift giving special is to see someone's face when they realize you put time and effort into finding a special gift...just for that person", I lectured.

No question this was hard for them and for me.  It tested my patience countless times, I must have heard a dozen times each... "I can't find anything", "Everything I want is too much money"...eh.

We had to get creative and make cards for some and artwork for others, but after several trips to dollar stores, Wal-Mart and Target and the constant whining from my 12 year old daughter we finally completed our task.

Fast forward to this year we did the same thing, with about the same result, maybe a little less complaining. Amazingly our youngest son deserves a little credit, he was so proud of the little things he found, even a $1 fragrance candle for the cleaning lady!

For his Mom's and Step Dad's birthday (They are only a few days apart…trust me, it has take a long time to set aside my pride and shop for their Step Dad!) he decided on some Starbucks ground coffee. He recognized that his Mom always enjoyed the "treat" of getting Starbucks and thought it would make a great gift to give. Little did he know that the night he gave them the gift, his Mom & Step Dad drove past Starbucks and were discussing what a treat it might be to try the ground Starbucks from the grocery store! You can imagine the look on their face when they opened his gift.

That night while he was being tucked in he said, " he loves giving gifts and watching the person's face when they open it. He's nervous for a minute because he's not sure if they'll like what he picked out, but they when they do he feels really good."

For those of us who beat ourselves up for some of our parenting shortcomings...sit back and celebrate your victories too.